“I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. I put on the TV and only saw pale skin, I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. The morning would come and I would be so excited about seeing my new skin that I would refuse to look down at myself until I was in front of a mirror because I wanted to see my fair face first. And every day I experienced the same disappointment of being just as dark as I had been the day before. I tried to negotiate with God: I told him I would stop stealing sugar cubes at night if he gave me what I wanted; I would listen to my mother's every word and never lose my school sweater again if he just made me a little lighter. But I guess God was unimpressed with my bargaining chips because He never listened.” - Lupita Nyong'o
Interestingly, I felt I could relate to what she was saying. I recalled the time my father asked if I would want to do surgery to remove those scars I had on my hand and leg, and correct my nose. As a kid, I didn’t feel a need to do surgery, because I wouldn’t die anyway. As much as it wasn’t a life and death issue on the outside, it was a life and death issue on the inside, creeping into the world of my self-image and dampening my esteem because I didn’t know the truth at that time.
Since GOD is a miracle worker, I believe if I placed my hands on those scars, it would disappear, and my nose would look perfect as well. Time and time again, the scars wouldn’t go away. And as I saw those scars and perceived those imperfections, it left scars after scars in my soul as well. I thought I wasn’t beautiful, and I didn’t understand why God wouldn’t answer my prayers. As I approached Him with those prayers everyday, He would reply, “Child, you’re beautiful.” And to this reply, I couldn’t understand why, because I did not feel that way.
Today, as I understand the truth of who I am, I realized that I am really beautifully and wonderfully made by GOD, regardless of how I felt. Even when Jesus was on the cross, being crucified and flogged, I believed His face and body looked rather unrecognizable covered with gore and scars, but that didn’t stop GOD from calling Him, “My Son.” And the same goes to me – I could spend the whole day pointing towards my outward imperfections [and even as a matter of fact, the things I did that I have perceived as failure, incompetence, etc.] and dismiss my beauty, but it doesn’t stop GOD from calling me His daughter, His precious, beautifully and wonderfully made.
“There is nothing you can do to make God love you more, for God already loves you perfectly and totally. But more wonderfully, there is nothing you can do to make God love you less—absolutely nothing, for God already loves you and will love you forever.” The truth of who I am and what true beauty is set me free from the false lies and what the world define beauty as, and helps me to stay contented with what I do have. I hope if you are reading this, you’ll be reminded that GOD really loves you, and you are beautiful just the way you are.
Psalm 139:14 (NIV) - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.Linked with Charlotte on Spiritual Sundays